De la muerte voluntaria – Sebastián Gámez Millán

De la muerte voluntaria – Sebastián Gámez Millán

De la muerte voluntaria

Carta a un joven suicidado

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Querido K.:

¿Cuántas veces se habrán preguntado tus padres, tu familia y tus amigos por qué lo hiciste? Y cuántas veces se habrán topado y se seguirán topando contra el muro ciego e impenetrable de la realidad, adonde no siempre alcanzan las razones. Puede que ni siquiera algunos de los que se suicidan sean conscientes de por qué lo han hecho, a pesar de que suelen dejar una carta, quizá a fin de que la violencia y la soledad de la incomunicación no se extiendan aún más allá. Téngase en cuenta que quienes osaban suicidarse eran marginados y excluidos hasta de los muros blancos y la llama de los cipreses, como si hubieran desafiado las leyes divinas.

No sé a quién le hablo, pues acaso tú ya no puedes escucharnos. Tal vez a lo que queda de ti en nosotros. Sea como sea la estructura dialógica del lenguaje levanta una escena imposible y necesaria entre nosotros. Tampoco descarto encontrar la voz de otros jóvenes como tú o la de tus padres, familiares, amigos y compañeros. Recuerdo que una joven japonesa que estaba considerando seriamente la posibilidad de quitarse la vida se topó con Encuentros con el suicidio, de Cioran, y en lugar de culminar aquellos pensamientos, comenzó una correspondencia escrita con el filósofo apátrida.

Hace años era partidario de la autonomía para decidir lo mismo sobre la vida que sobre la muerte, si es que no son dos caras de una misma moneda. Se trata de una libertad conquistada progresivamente a lo largo de la historia. Y no es que haya cambiado por completo de opinión, pero asimismo considero que aquel que decide la muerte voluntaria pierde de vista con frecuencia, primero, que como decía santa Teresa, “todo pasa”, incluso los momentos de mayor desesperación; y, segundo, que nosotros no somos sin los otros y, por lo tanto, nos debemos también en cierto modo a ellos. Las decisiones consensuadas me parecen por lo general más solidarias y justas.

Sé que la muerte voluntaria, como la denominaba Jean Améry en una de las más perturbadoras y bellas meditaciones que se han escrito sobre el asunto, Levantar la mano sobre uno mismo, puede ser una liberación, un acto de libertad y hasta un éxtasis, según. Al fin y al cabo, ¿qué otra especie animal puede renunciar a la vida? Otra anomalía humana. Desde una perspectiva histórica y filosófica el estudio más completo que conozco es Semper dolens. Historia del suicidio en Occidente, de Ramón Andrés.

Y sin duda hay circunstancias en las que puede resultar preferible la muerte que seguir viviendo, si es que cabe llamar propiamente “vida” a estar en esas angustiosas situaciones. Pienso en la película Million dollar baby, cuando Maggie le pide a Frankie que la desconecte de la máquina que la mantiene con una vida casi vegetativa. Naturalmente, Frankie se opone, pero Maggie le viene a decir (cito de memoria): He acariciado mi sueño de ser boxeadora, he escuchado corear al público el nombre con el que tú me bautizaste… antes de que deje de escucharlo quiero dejar de ser…

Hay otras vías por las que uno decide darse la muerte voluntaria. Sospecho que entre las más transitadas se encuentra “la lucidez mortífera” de la que hablaba Paul Valéry: no poder soportar esas oleadas de sentimientos y pensamientos que nos sobrevienen, impidiéndonos ver el mundo como desearíamos. Es lo que le sucedió a Hamlet, cuyo célebre monólogo no solo es universal por haberse representado en tantos lugares de este planeta, antes bien forma parte de la condición humana caminar como un equilibrista por entre esas dolorosas e inquietantes preguntas.

“El mundo del feliz es otro que el del infeliz”, escribió Wittgenstein. ¿Hasta qué punto se puede elegir esto? No sé si tus padres, familia, amigos y compañeros te comprenderán ahora mejor, K. Me gustaría mostrarles que han tenido la suerte de conocerte durante estos años, cosa que no tenía por qué haber ocurrido. Pero barrunto que seguirán dentro de la jaula del lenguaje preguntándose “¿por qué?, topándose con el muro ciego e impenetrable de la realidad, como si fuéramos libres.

 

 

Manuel Domínguez Sánchez – La muerte de Séneca (1871) [Museo del Prado – Madrid]

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Sebastián Gámez Millán

Autor

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