I fili delle essenze
*
La pioggia ticchettava i miei pensieri, il metronomo del ricordo quasi fosse la mia coscienza o forse la mia incoscienza venne a ricordarmi che infine, il presente stava per arrivare. Già, come in un racconto sveviano mi circondai di rimembranze morte, ma la mia mente ora ambiva a forgiare forse, quel futuro già vissuto, quel pensiero mai creduto… sì, sono un uomo schiavo della libertà.
Narrai ai miei pensieri ciò che mai avrebbero conosciuto, una lucciola apparve nel presente della mia infanzia, immerso dal ricordo di un potere mai raggiunto capii che la cattiveria nacque in una rabbia mai appagata e continuai alle intemperie di un racconto senza finale. Proprio così, laddove non c’è un finale inizia una nuova storia.
A quale prezzo stai pagando l’immagine che ti sei costruito di te stesso?
Funambolo sul filo delle essenze conversavo, conversavo con lo specchio della mia assenza. Si capovolse l’intelletto e vidi il mio inconscio rispecchiato nella luce del contrario. Contrario a chi? Contrario a me stesso.
Il giudice interiore oramai stanco sentenziò così dicendo: “Siete assolti, ora infine siete assolti!”.
Dallo spazio assorto scaturì l’archetipo dell’inconscio e i neuroni specchio esplosero alla formulazione d’un algoritmo conscio.
Infante, folle o forse saggio, entrai nell’era del coraggio e senza indugio, alquanto scaltro, tornai a vivere quel miraggio. Una lucciola s’accese solitaria e d’incanto ricordai l’inizio del mio viaggio.
“Così fanno i grandi dotti del nostro tempo, che spaccano il capello in ogni genere di conoscenze. Sanno a perfezione e hanno una comprensione piena di tutte le materie che non li riguardano.
Ma, su quel che concerne ciò che è veramente appropriato al momento e tocca l’uomo più vicino di ogni cosa, è precisamente il suo proprio sé, il vostro grande studioso non sa dir parola.
Egli si pronuncia sulla liceità o meno di ogni cosa e attesta: “Questo è permesso, questo non è permesso, quella cosa è lecita e l’altra no”.
Quel che non conosce, è il suo proprio sé: ignora se sia lecito o illecito, se sia permesso o non permesso, puro o impuro.”
Gialal al-Din Rumi (Fîhi-mâ-fîhi)
Per norma generale confondiamo volentieri l’essere con l’idea d’essere, catapultando la mente all’infuori del corpo e progredendo verso un’erronea considerazione del sé, come se la colpa fosse esterna dell’errore commesso. Finiamo così, senza accorgercene a rispondere alla domanda: “chi sei?”, con una risposta pressapochista, patetica e fuorviante di ciò che crediamo d’essere, entrando nel territorio dell’imposizione, rispecchiando le nostre azioni con l’immagine che ci siamo costruiti di noi stessi, alienandoci così definitivamente dal nostro proprio sé.
In differenti forme e secondo differenti canoni, culture, tradizioni ed abitudini infine la ricerca è comune: felicità.
Potrei dilettarmi attraverso peripezie intellettuali, culturali, teologico-mistiche e filosofiche ad analizzare nella profondità il termine felicità, la sua ricerca ed i suoi vari aspetti, per non perpetuare nella banalità di un termine così essenziale e generico al contempo, anzi a ripensarci voglio perpetuare nella banalità se questa mediocrità si chiama felicità.
Semplifico così il mio linguaggio con un quesito limpido e scarno che tende i fili dell’essenza del sé:
“A quale prezzo stai pagando l’immagine che ti sei costruito di te stesso?”
Allego uno scritto formulato dallo psicoanalista Italo Bassi, scritto fondamentale nel processo di sintesi che mi ha portato a sviluppare questo quesito, cogliendo così l’occasione per ringraziarlo:
“Tutto
Pan, panico
il dilemma di Einstein
infinito e limitato
o
illimitato e finito?
Parla dell’universo?
del dolore?
dell’Amore?
… che parole
continuano
a cercar di dire
di disdire
l’urlo s/terminato
di una concezione
mai terminata.
Soffriamo forse
l’insoddisfazione
di Dio?
Chiamare dolore
il dolore
non lo rende men dolore
e non c’è… dolore più grande
del dolor
che no sa dirsi
che non può dirsi
a pena
di sfinirsi.”
*
Massa Marittima, 21 maggio 2018.
Alessandro Spoladore
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